A Book You Can Eat?

She went to Smudge's house today. She told Him that She and Smudge's Mom were going to make a book you can eat! That sounds very silly to me. A book made out of kibbles? Well, She and Smudge's Mom are a couple of wise Crones, so, I guess they can figure out how to do that. She told Him they made pizzelles, and He didn't even ask about the book-you-can-eat, He just ate some of pizzelles. They are kind of like cookies made out of waffles. I don't like them, but He and She don't care. We like them, She said, and gave me some snuggles. She says Smudge is a wonderful house cat. Smudge used to be an outside cat, but his Mom got him to come in, and now he stays in, and chases squirrels through the windows. He is just a baby, though, and tries to biff his Uncle Jack, who is a wise old cat. Jack biffs him back, and they laugh. It is just a game.
He was worried about Her, because She had kind of a flat tire. A man at the gas station helped Her put air in the tire. Right now, it is OK. She doesn't like Him to worry. I'm going to head back to Kasey's soft mat, while she has a nap on her blanket. Wish me luck! Toodles.

Comfy-Cats

You will not be able to see Kasey very much, because He washed Kasey's blue blanket, and we can't get her to come away from it! She loves that blanket! You would think, from the way she acts, that Kasey doesn't love anything, but when He put that blanket down for her, she got right on it and purred. Actually purred. You never hear Kasey purr. So she has just come out to eat and drink and pee and get her treats. The rest of the time - on the blanket! I don't have a blanket, but there is a nice soft pad that Kasey uses when she is not so in love with her blanket. When I am sure she is not coming, I curl up on her soft pad. Oh, she would be so annoyed if she caught me.
I am glad She got Her hair cut today. I think she looked OK, but She was whining about it, and since He was away at His class, who could She complain to, but me? So She went to Le's and got it cut, and all is well with Her hair. Sheesh. Well, She is going to see Smudge's Mom tomorrow, and that always makes Her smile. Time to go snuggle up on Kasey's pad, while she is sound asleep on her blanket. (snerk) TTYL

Twitter-Cat

I was watching Her today, and She went to this page called Twitter. She likes to read about Her friends that She knows from the computer. She calls them Cyber-family. She has told me lots of Her cyber-family have cats, so I will put them in my cyber-family, too. Only the smartest people with the best personalities have cats! She told me Her grandson Eddie didn't have a cat, but he sure understands them!
But here is the real news. We had company last night, and Kasey and I were in good form. Kasey meowed at the cats who came to the door while it was open, and she made a mean face at them through the glass. Mable came to our house in her Mom's car, and she was out there growling at the cats, too! Everyone came to admire Kasey and said she was a watch-cat. Personally, I think she is just rude, and being unfriendly to the visiting cats. I am much better than Kasey, because I am also polite, and let people give me pets and skritches. Kasey doesn't know what she is missing! None of the cats that came to our door were Katy. She stayed home with her kittens. What a good mom Katy is! I'm going to have a snack, now. Toodle-pip (Or poodle-tip - get it?)

Saturday-Caturday

The men were coming early to put the air-conditioner back together, so I had to wake Her up very early. When gentle pokes don't work, I get up on Her and give Her a massage with my paws. That makes Her smile, but not if I bite Her! They are just gentle bites, but She doesn't like them. So the men came and worked for awhile, and She said that it had turned cold just in time for the A/C to be fixed. She called that cruel irony.
Tonight some friends will come over to see us. Cleo's people, Mable's Mom and Tori-tzu's mom. We are not allowed to get on the table tonight, so she moved our silver water bowl. They will never know (snerk)So when the people are admiring us, she will get something ready for them to eat. We need to make a fuss over Cleo's Mom, because yesterday was her birthday. We all love Cleo's Mom. She says C's Mom is made out of love, like me! Mable's Mom might be bringing another cake! Kasey will probably be rude, but I will do lots of tricks for them. I had better rest up for being admired tonight. Toodles.

Whew!

I am one exhausted cat, I can tell you! The air-conditioning guys came today, and I don't know what They would have done without me. Kasey didn't help at all. She checked out the workers and left. Not interesting to her, she said. While I, on the other paw, had to follow them closely, and make sure they checked every detail. I tried to climb up the attic steps, but the workers saw I was having some issues there, and put me back on the ground.
She was right, however about they would find something expensive to fix. There is a coil that needs to be cleaned, and they told Them that the whole thing would break down if they didn't fix it! He said to go ahead, but She gave them an earful. It's a scam, She said, how they always find something! She argued and scolded them good, but in the end, He wrote them the check. She was muttering to Herself, and left them reeling with Her complaints. She told them to leave their addresses, because if it isn't cool for her dinner party tomorrow, she was bringing everyone to their houses! They told Her OK. She said they were a couple of wankers. I don't know what that is, but it isn't nice, I am sure. I'm off for a snooze now. Bye.

Silliness

This is a good one!~ Today, I jumped up on the back of Her chair - like ya do - and when I got on Her shoulder, she said, what ARE you? A parrot? We both had a good laugh about that. I know what parrots are from watching TV with Them. She said maybe I should learn to talk. Pretty cat, She said. We had a good time today!
She is glad because Juliette's mom felt good enough to come to Crones, and they had cake and ice cream to celebrate Cleo's Mom's birthday. It was kind of a celebration to welcome J's Mom back to us, too, although we all worried about how she would get home. J's Mom live WAY far from here.
Another nice thing is She talked to Sally, from when She used to go to work. She loves Sally, and Sally loves cats, too. She says it is so nice to feel connected.
It is starting to thunder outside, and I am not afraid of thunder. Kasey is, so I must go hide in the closet with Kasey, so she doesn't feel alone. TTYL

Cat Tale

People have wondered how I get to do these stories and so I will explain. It is not a secret, in fact I think She knows. Here's what I do - When She is reading her messages, I jump up on the back of Her chair, and onto Her shoulder. For some reason, that seems to make Her laugh. She stops what She is doing, and gives me lots of snuggles. She brushes my fur, and after awhile, She tries to go back to Her messages. That is when I get on the desk and lie down on the keys. (I taught this trick to my cousin Smudge.)
No matter how She tries to coax me, I just stay there. If She picks me up, I purr very loud, and we begin snuggles again, until She realizes it's no use, and goes for some coffee (the drink). That's when I go to work.
She is quite happy today, so I guess She is seeing Her beloved Crones tonight. I need to go get a drink now. This writing makes a cat very thirsty! Toodle pip.

Katy Visited

Today, when She went out for the paper, Katy came dancing over, looking quite slim. I guess she was willing to leave her kittens for some treats and pets! Kasey watched from inside the door, and said she thought we got rid of you! He and She took Katy some kibbles, and took turns petting her. Katy was glad to see us! Maybe she will bring the kittens when they are a little older.
But She is sorry she missed her meeting this morning with Her discussion friends. She had to go to school with Katy's Mom and Katy's girl. It was a good meeting, because they listened to Her, and even put Her suggestions in the notes. I heard Her telling Him. She says, if you want them to listen, bring an advocate! Katy's Mom is too shy to talk up. Not like Her, who talks A LOT! But it will be a long time before the next meeting with her talking group.I hear a noise. It sounds like someone is putting kibbles in a dish. I must investigate this! Toodles

TableCat Reporting

Guess where I spent the day? You'll never guess. On the table-where-they-eat. When I went for my morning snuggles, She carried me to the table and put me there. Kasey was already there, demanding her dry, nasty treats. Kasey was surprised to see me on the table, and came over to sniffle me. I made a mean face at her, and she walked away. I drank some water, and had my butter up there on the table, and got comfy, and stayed there all day! I have never done that before, but it was kind of fun. Things look different from a table, you know.
She was worried about Him again, because he has been down in the dumps ever since he went to visit His mom where she lives. The mom-lady gives Him a lot of arguments, and She says, let it go, and He says He's trying. Letting go must be hard. I know that She tells me not to worry so much, but I can't help it, just like Him. He went off to His school, and seemed a bit cheerier.
I've been on the table all day, so I must go to my (ahem) litter box. Scuse me.

Pictures

Last evening, when She went to the party, the picture guy gave Her a pack of pictures, and She just loves them. She will send some off to the proper people, and that will make everyone happy. She will never forget that party! Did I tell you She didn't invite Kasey and me? So I had to look at the pictures. I saw Mable's boy and Abby's mom and dad. Smudge's mom was there, and so was Smudge's girl, who made Her a movie. She looked at those pictures about 100 times.
Today She went to Her church to hear LW's mom, and She said it was a brilliant talk! A bunch of the guys went to eat lunch, She told Him, and they talked and talked and talked. All the while, I was waiting for Her to come home and give me snuggles. She really likes Her friends, which is a good thing, I guess. All I have for friends is Him and Her, and sometimes Kasey. I look at Katy through the door, but for now Katy is at home with her kittens. I am a good friend. Kasey, not so much. I think I will find her and give her a biff right now. TTYL

Plenty of Good Air

Well, the air-conditioner guys did not come when they said they would, and She is annoyed. He told them to come next week, so I have plenty of time before I have to help them. Right now, the air is just fine. The box on the wall is turned off, and no special air is needed. What She says is that when they come, they will find some big, expensive thing that needs fixing, and He will want to fix it. She says to tell them to check back with us later, and if everything is still working, to save the money. She does not like to take risks with money. He calls it preventive maintenance, but She says it's just a way to get more money. They don't fight very much, but She is fussier about money, unless it comes to Her kids. Then She says it's only money. I laugh, because that's not what she says to Him or the air-conditioning guys.
She is going to a nice party today, where two friends are getting married. I am not invited, so I will go and play with a catnip mouse for awhile to cheer myself up. Bye.

How to Get a Cat

She said it again today - that She could make a new cat out of the fur that she brushes off me! I don't believe Her! There are only two ways to get a cat. You go to the esspeeceeay (or out in your yard, like Smudge's mom) or you get them out of your tummy, like Katy next door. If She DID make a new cat out of my fur, it would be very good looking, but I wouldn't like it. There is already one too many cats in this house to share kibbles, butter and snuggles with. Kasey went and sniffed Her finger with the butter on it today, and almost tasted it, but at the last minute, she walked away. I had an extra finger of butter, just to show Kasey I am the best butter-cat. Then I had a big drink of water out of the silver cup, and after I write my story, I am going to rest up so I can help the air-conditioner-checking guys later. Toodles.

And then there were TWO

Well, it seems as if our next-door cat, Katy, had kittens last night. I was wrong about the extra kibbles - she was eating for three! Katy had two little kittens, and She went over there to see them. She says they look just like Katy. One has a white "beard", She says. I believe that Katy's Mom will find homes for them after awhile and they won't go to the esspeeceeay, like Kasey and me. I really can't complain about living here. If they would find another home for Kasey, I would be perfectly happy. He would never approve of that, She says. Remind me to biff Kasey later. One thing I like here is that She has a brush with silver bristles, and She gives me a good brushing almost every day. She says she could make a new cat out of the hair that gets stuck in the brush, but I think She is kidding. One time I gave Her a snuggle before She went to LW's house, and LW got some cat hair on her. LW's Mom noticed it, so I got an extra brushing when She came home. We all love LW, and don't want her to have cat hair on her dress!
I am so excited for Katy's kittens that I plan to celebrate with a nice nap. Toodle Pip.

Who's in the Box?

Here's what happened. There are workers fixing up the house next door, where Katy lives, and her mom didn't want her to get in the way. She borrowed our cat-carrier (a nasty piece of work THAT is!) and put Katy inside, and brought her over to our house, to visit in our living room. Katy had to stay in the box. The cat box make Kasey curious, and she went and sniffed all over it. She realized that there was a foreign cat in there (Katy), and started hissing! I told you she was rude. Katy must have been scared from all that hissing, and she started to cry. He and She gave her some treats to ease her sadness, but she cried for a while more. Kasey was insulted because she thinks the treats are all for her, and she went to her soft blanket, but she didn't go to sleep. She just scowled at Him and Her and the box where Katy was. Finally, Katy's mom came to get her, and we said goodbye to Katy - all but Kasey, who ignored everyone. I went and got some snuggles, and everything turned out fine. I'm going to get a drink, now. Toodles.

Cat-itude

Today looks as if it will be a good day for Mable's Mom, which makes Her very happy. She says someone sent M'sM some money, and we all like money! He and She talk about it all the time. Kasey and I don't need money. We get all our kibbles and butter for free, because we are so cute. At least I am. Kasey is so rude that I would charge her one dollar a day. I don't know what that is, but she always says I'd give a dollar to know (whatever). Like who gave money to M'sM. Noone signed their name, so it is supposed to be a secret, I guess. I saw pictures of the LW dancing like she did at Her birthday party (to which I wasn't invited). LW is amazing, because she can dance as if she had never had keemo! She calls LW a Dancing Queen, like in the song Mazie sings. She wants to compute now, so I will go chase Kasey for awhile, then Kasey will chase me, and we'll both have a nap. TTYL.

Quiet Cats

It has been pretty quiet around here today. They went far away to Krausen's house to have a birthday party with Krausen's mom. They love K's Mom, and all the people there, especialoly the one She calls Mazie, so they were excited to go. We are never invited to birthday parties. That left us here to entertain ourselves, so we had a quiet day. It was raining hard, so there was no fun looking out the window. There was no spot of sunshine on the floor, so I had to go snooze on a pillow. Kasey has a soft blanket that They put on the bed for her when They go away, so she was cozy there. I don't mind telling you that it makes a long day when They aren't home. It is no fun for Kasey and me to chase each other when They aren't here to laugh at us. I will be more careful about saying I wish They would go away. At least I had my butter this morning, and some water from the silver cup. She was so happy with Her new toaster! I would not want to miss that.
I will go and listen for Them to come home, and pretend to be asleep! Tata.

Cat Trick

I am laughing so hard I can hardly write my story today! They were searching for me and calling Coffee, hey, Coffs, hey, Coffster. They asked Kasey, where's your brother? and she told Them she didn't know and didn't care. They looked in the closet, and in the laundry room, which was silly, because I never go in the laundry room. Kasey does that. They looked in all the rooms, even in the bathtub! They were so silly that They even looked outside! I never go outside, and even Kasey hardly ever sneaks out. I don't know what made Her look under the cabinet where the TV is. I guess they were desperate for someplace to look. She wasn't even sure she saw me under ther, and called Him to look. Yes, He said, there he is. I didn't know Coffee could even fit under there, He said. Well, I finally came out from under there, and haven't stopped laughing since! I was glad to put some fun in the air, it has been so bummer around here lately.
I'm going to eat now. Toodle pip. (Or poodle tip - get it?)

That 13 Thing Again

He and She are very sad today, because Mable's Mom has to have an operation on her bad knee. He said bummer when She told him, and He hardly EVER says bummer! She said don't talk to Her about Friday the 13th, because she doesn't believe in it, but I can't help but wonder.....last time it was Friday the 13th, I had to be very wary and careful! Things do not feel right today, either, so Kasey and I are going to hide in the closet where it is safe and cozy. It is lucky that I had my butter before She found out about the bummer news. She says She is going to make soup, because soup makes everything better. Some nice people brought soup to M'sM, and she told Her it made her feel better. She says those friends are angels She believes in!
I'm off to the closet, now. Stay safe!

Cozy Cat

It seems as if summer is not here after all. If you look out the window, it is raining, and the sun is not making a spot on the floor where I can sleep. That's OK, though, because They said it was very cold outside. Katy didn't even come over for an extra breakfast, because she doesn't want to get wet and cold. I found a nice place where there was a soft pillow, and I curled up on that. Very cozy. I am glad Kasey and I don't have to go outside. We don't have to get too cold or too hot. She didn't mind going out today, though. She went to see the Alphas, which are LW and her three sibs. LW's Mom gives her good food whenever She goes there, and She says the Alphas fix whatever is wrong in her heart! She is all Hey, Coffster when She comes home from there. She really loves those Alphas and their Mom and Dad.
He has opened the closet door, so I will go in and find a cozy place for a snooze. TTYL

Fish for Dinner!

Here's what happened. It was the day She has lunch with Her Crones. They go to a place where the menu is very long, and sometimes they give Her two! She always likes what they give her to eat, so She told them to give Her one lunch for Herself, and one for Him. Of course, He wasn't there. Men cannot be Crones, She says. But She thought He would like a change from the dinners She calls not-very-clever. She ordered the best dinner in the whole place (in my never-humble opinion). She brought home FISH for dinner! Oh, She put it in the coolbox to wait until it was time, but not before I got a sniff of that fish! Since She brought home half of Her lunch, They will both have fish, and I believe there will be plenty to share! Just in case They don't think of it, I will go and practice making my begging-face. She says I look like the cat from Shrek when I make that face. I don't know who that is, but as long as it gets me fish, it works for me! Kasey will want fish, too, but she doesn't have a begging face, so she will be out of luck, unless He sees her looking hungry. I'm off to practice my face, now. Toodle Pip

Butter-Cat

Luckily for me, I don't panic. Oh, yes, I get wary and watchful, but if I WERE going to panic, it might have been today! You see, She got up early, but She just got cleaned up and dressed, and skipped Her bagel. At first, I thought She was sleepwalking, but it turned out that She was taking Mable's Mom for an emmareye. I don't know what that is, but She seemed worried that it might be bad news for M'sM. So She left without reading Her paper or giving anycat (ahem) some butter. I watched out the window, annd after a long time, She came home and told Him that M'sM seemed better. THEN She fixed Her bagel! Since I had waited so long, I had about ten fingers-full of butter before I "lost interest" and walked away. That was a close call. I should have known She wouldn't leave me butterless, though. I watched the cheeky birds out the window while She read Her paper, and now everything is normal again! It is safe for me to find a cozy spot and have a nap. Bye.

Is It Summer?

Since She retired, She says time is different than when She went to Her school job. I didn't know Her then. Shr had to get up very early and was gone all day, She says. Now She has more time to play. It is very warm and nice outside, She says, but Kasey and I don't go out, so we have to believe Her. But this is suspicious to me. She went to the temperature box on the wall, and She turned on the air conditioning! Last year She didn't do that until it was summer, so I wonder.....Is it summer yet? I can usually tell when the kids are out of school, but She says LW's sibs are home from school now. All this de-cluttering and air-conditioning, when we just had Her birthday makies me confused. When I am confused, I need extra snuggles and a couple of extra naps. I think I will find Her and get my snuggles now. Then naps until it is time for kibble. TTYL

What's Clutter?

Today LW's Mom was talking about de-cluttering your life inside and out. When She heard it, She said it was brilliant, but I don't get it. If there is a pile of paper on the table, it makes a good place for Kasey and me to rest. We prefer that to the hard table. When She runs her shredder, it makes an awful noise and I have to run away. When He picks up all the toys on the floor, Kasey and I just have to knock them down again. She told Him we all need to clear our minds of useless stuff so we have room for new ideas. She says she loves that idea, but my mind has all the ideas anycat could ever want. Stalking, eating kibbles and butter, poking Kasey, having a nap.......what else is important? She says love is important, but I don't need to clear a space for that. I am made out of love! Now, Kasey could use some work on that, but when I try to tell her, she just turns her back and says "Leave me alone." I was going to try harder to understand, but it made me tired, so I will just find a patch of sunshine and lie down for a snooze. Toodle Pip.

Scaredy-Cat?

You will have to forgive me if I seem out of sorts. I was very busy stalking something imaginary near the refrigerator. When the toaster popped up, I jumped straight up in the air, and She laughed at me! I was just showing off my great reflexes, but She called me Scaredy-Cat! She SO does not understand my motives, and I am feeling quite glum. I refused to eat any butter today, and did not give Her even one snuggle. I am sure that is teaching Her a lesson, and things will return to normal tomorrow. I ran around the house quite energetically, to show Her I am in control, and name-calling is not necessary. I am completely knackered now, and will find a nice, safe place - no, make that a daring place - to nap. As my dear friend says, Poodle Tip (get it?)

Cat-ch Up

The man who came to visit Her was a jolly fellow, but her smelled of dog, so I kept my distance. The man said he liked cats, but you can't be too careful. Kasey climbed up to take a closer look, but the guy tried to pet her and she escaped. I got up on Her lap, but She was paying attention to the dog-guy and didn't give me snuggles, so I left, too. She says They have some long-term care, which makes me laugh, because They are the ones who take care. Why would They need care? Kasey and I give them something to take care of, and we give them snuggles in return. At least I do. Kasey has never given a snuggle to Her. Not once. I was tempted to offer Kasey to the dog-guy, to get her out of here, but He wouldn't stand for it! Kasey is sort of His cat, and not for me to give away, He says.
Anyway, Mable's mom is still sore, and has to go to the doc today, and She is hoping they have some magic medicine so that M'sM will be fine and ready to go back to work. M's M loves her work, just like She did, when She went to work. I have to find Kasey and biff her. Don't tell! bye.

Cat-egories

I guess you know there are many kinds of cats. Some are obvious, like Kasey, who is a tortoiseshell. You can tell by her markings. Some cats are splotchy with a bunch of colors. Those cats are all girls, She says. Calico, She says - but I just call them splotchy, and I am glad I am not like that, because then I would have to be a girl! Some are striped, and She says Her favorites are black and white. I say Hmph to that! Now, I am all one color, mostly, although I have some stripes here and there. You can see in my picture. So She says I am not an orange tabby like the espeeceeay said. She says I am a mystery. One thing she thinks is that I am partly a Maine Coon cat, because I am so BIG. Do you know how hard it is for a big cat like me to stalk things? I have to pretend I am a panther, sometimes!
She is so happy Mable's Mom is better. She is so happy that she is sending LW's family to see the easter bunny. I would like to meet that dude myself. Mmmmm, bunny. Delicious.
Toodles for now

Bagels and Butter

Every day She has a bagel for her breakfast. She puts lots of butter on it so that She can share the butter with me. If She tries to change from bagels, I will be very upset, unless it is something to put butter on! When she got out her bagel today, She saw there was only one left, and we were very worried. She told me not to panic, and She got dressed in warm clothes and went to the bagel store. You have to get there early, before they run out of the good kinds, She says. Sometimes He gets Her enough bagels for a whole month at a time. He is a really good person like that. Now that He is in his school so much He doesn't have time to go to that far-away bagel store. He does lots of nice things for Her, and so I go sit on His lap, to show Him I appreciate Him. She says we look cute like that. Cute? I am thinking it is more like handsome!
I must go and find Kasey, now, just to play chase with her before my nap. Do you know what Her Brit friend started to say? Poodle tip. Get it?

A Cat's Eye View

Honestly, I thought She would never get away from this computer! She has a busy day today, and she didn't seem to care that I have something to say! She loves the Tea Room, and that is where Deena's Mom took her for lunch. It is always nice for Her to see Deena's Mom, and She wakes up smiling on those days. Then, She wanted to go and see Mable's Mom. She told Him that if She knows Mable's Mom, she would be up on her sore legs doing housework! When She goes over there, She will make a mean face, to get M'sM to sit and do nothing , but She knows it won't work. Oh, well, She says some people lack the veg-out gene.
I do not lack that gene, and I have spotted an excellent patch of sunshine on the floor in His office, so I will go in there and get some much-needed rest. (yawn) TTYL

Snuggle-Bug

Did you ever have one of those days when you just could NOT get enough snuggles? Well, I am having a day like that today. I have tried napping and playing with the flowers. I have eaten a bunch of kibble, but suddenly, I feel hungry for snuggles, and have to jump up on Her chair or into Her lap. She always makes the time for me and only gets cross when I give her a little love-nip. Don't bite me, She says, but She still pets me. Maybe it is the weather. Maybe there was something in today's butter. Or maybe I feel so sad for Mable's Mom...........or maybe I just like to hear Her say that I am Her little Snuggle-Bug. That's kind of funny, because I am a very big cat. Check with me tomorrow, to see if I get over this snuggle thing. I am not as rude as Kasey, but I would like to be more dignified! Snuggle-Bug, indeed! Later.